Till the Earth
In my church (The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints), we have the opportunity to connect with other people of our faith through a variety of programs, one of them is called "visiting teaching". In this program, the women in the church are paired off and assigned a couple of other people (sisters) to "nurture" or care for. Monthly, as a companionship you go and share a variety of spiritual topics with assigned sister/s. Nevertheless, It isn't always the easiest thing to do for many reasons, but one being that it is a random (spiritually considered) draw and you may not feel motivated to go visit some of these people. The biggest question is "How can I help them?" To get this answer you must have a relationship with them.
This is where the learning begins.
You have to find a way to establish a relationship with these people and CONNECT with them. WHAT?!?!?!
Just because you go to church with these people doesn't make it any easier, but at least it paves the path.
I love the fact that I can serve but once in a while you feel like you get...A hopeless cause. Bear with me, THIS IS NOT A SERMON!
I came to understand, firsthand, the term LONG SUFFERING.
I had this family that I loved dearly, but I felt that there really wasn't anything there, nothing to work with and not a care in the world, but I always felt compelled to work it out, keep supporting and teaching no matter how long the struggle. It felt right. I couldn't give up on anyone, especially people that were personally assigned to me!
The Savior teaches that in order for a seed to grow, you must have fertile ground.
Lots of plants, like weeds, are adaptable and grow without the help of others. I am this kind of person, which is sometimes unfortunate. Nevertheless, most people require a little more coercing/love than this. Relationship building can be likened unto the work that you do to prepare the ground before planting seeds, but most important is what you do after tilling the ground that makes for a good crop. The experiences and trust that you build with others makes that ground fertile creating strong roots and lasting relationships. I have never been a nurturer. I am working on it. It is not a characteristic I poses. I am a strong mother, but mothering and nurturing are two completely different roles. One is a skill and the other is a gift/ a talent that is eternal in nature. Mothering is discipline and responsibility, nurturing is love and teaching. In this particular situation, I felt it was my DUTY to till that hard, rocky relationship that I had with this family and find the rich soil that lied beneath it all. I was faithful in working and being present (tilling), but I was not fertilizing. Most often I would teach, ask questions and listen, on various occasions I invited them over to dinner, and used the girls as babysitters.
I needed them to come to life, WHY WASN'T IT WORKING?!?!
Because connecting takes time, but listening doesn't! See, we need to make every minute we spend with others count, which is the fertilizer that builds and strengthens our relationships. It isn't about how much time we spend with others or even how often, it's about the dept/ richness and quality that we give of ourselves to that time.
Back to my story...
After a year of working with them, I saw something happen! I saw a sprout and I was overjoyed! I now understand what I HAVE been doing wrong, my vision for them was all wrong. I finally learned how to connect and how to nurture. During this time, I have been encouraging them to develop a closer relationship with one another and with Christ. I loved them more and more, and now they are growing! I see it! I understand it. I know how to do it! My mother was right: Being a mother is not a responsibility, it isn't...It is a labor of love. I need to make sure that I'm not just tilling but fertilizing and making way for meaningful relationships everyday.
This is where the learning begins.
You have to find a way to establish a relationship with these people and CONNECT with them. WHAT?!?!?!
Just because you go to church with these people doesn't make it any easier, but at least it paves the path.
I love the fact that I can serve but once in a while you feel like you get...A hopeless cause. Bear with me, THIS IS NOT A SERMON!
I came to understand, firsthand, the term LONG SUFFERING.
I had this family that I loved dearly, but I felt that there really wasn't anything there, nothing to work with and not a care in the world, but I always felt compelled to work it out, keep supporting and teaching no matter how long the struggle. It felt right. I couldn't give up on anyone, especially people that were personally assigned to me!
The Savior teaches that in order for a seed to grow, you must have fertile ground.
Lots of plants, like weeds, are adaptable and grow without the help of others. I am this kind of person, which is sometimes unfortunate. Nevertheless, most people require a little more coercing/love than this. Relationship building can be likened unto the work that you do to prepare the ground before planting seeds, but most important is what you do after tilling the ground that makes for a good crop. The experiences and trust that you build with others makes that ground fertile creating strong roots and lasting relationships. I have never been a nurturer. I am working on it. It is not a characteristic I poses. I am a strong mother, but mothering and nurturing are two completely different roles. One is a skill and the other is a gift/ a talent that is eternal in nature. Mothering is discipline and responsibility, nurturing is love and teaching. In this particular situation, I felt it was my DUTY to till that hard, rocky relationship that I had with this family and find the rich soil that lied beneath it all. I was faithful in working and being present (tilling), but I was not fertilizing. Most often I would teach, ask questions and listen, on various occasions I invited them over to dinner, and used the girls as babysitters.
I needed them to come to life, WHY WASN'T IT WORKING?!?!
Because connecting takes time, but listening doesn't! See, we need to make every minute we spend with others count, which is the fertilizer that builds and strengthens our relationships. It isn't about how much time we spend with others or even how often, it's about the dept/ richness and quality that we give of ourselves to that time.
Back to my story...
After a year of working with them, I saw something happen! I saw a sprout and I was overjoyed! I now understand what I HAVE been doing wrong, my vision for them was all wrong. I finally learned how to connect and how to nurture. During this time, I have been encouraging them to develop a closer relationship with one another and with Christ. I loved them more and more, and now they are growing! I see it! I understand it. I know how to do it! My mother was right: Being a mother is not a responsibility, it isn't...It is a labor of love. I need to make sure that I'm not just tilling but fertilizing and making way for meaningful relationships everyday.
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